The more I look, the more I see my inner junk instead of inner awakening.
Well, aside from the question of which 'I' is looking, a growing awareness sees just that, our inner baggage train. On the plus side, awareness is growing.
And the minus side?
Getting mired down with that baggage, overtaxed with its burden.
What do you mean by baggage?
Our mind's conditioning running on autopilot. It has a machinelike efficiency that holds a greater life at bay, our awakening to spirit held hostage.
At some point the situation is felt as untenable, unacceptable, and being so totally taken in and deluded can come as a great shock.
What to do but allow a higher influence to do what limited mind itself can never do, to undo itself. And what's this influence but our essence, the Beloved's presence or the Self manifesting through us. By shifting our focus, our pivot point where mind and experience meet, by displacing this pivot point with a transitional self, a new center of experiencing, mind's conditioning patterns are no longer fed. Instead they get deconstructed bit by bit, freeing us to become what we always have been.